Problems

May. 28th, 2009 12:53 pm
[personal profile] sallyalice
This is getting scary. I've been scared since Sunday, but I get scared about a lot of things, so that doesn't tell us much. Now that somebody else seems scared, I feel justified in classing this as scary.

I went back to see another practice nurse today, to have my wounds dressed properly. Her reaction was one of horror - she doesn't think there's any use in trying to dress the wound as it is, and she thinks I probably need to go back to the hospital. She also thinks I need to stop dilating for a few days.

I explained what I've been told by the people at Charing Cross: I need to keep dilating whatever happens; and my wounds will look bloody for a while but should heal in a matter of days. She said she's never seen a wound like this before, so she can't be sure - but then, those at Charing Cross haven't seen my wound as it is at the moment.

I passed her the phone number for the ward, and begged her to give them a call on my behalf.

A long, heated conversation followed, during which it emerged that they might be prepared to admit me again if my wounds are still gaping like this in a few days' time... but that there's nothing they'll do at the moment. It sounded like they were saying much the same as they'd told me. The practice nurse ended the call by repeating "I just want you to know - I'm really not happy with this..."

She's given me another appointment for tomorrow so that we can keep checking over the area. In the meantime, I have another three dilations to get through. I'll manage them, however much they hurt, but I'm scared sick. I'm still spending most of my time asleep; I'm eating and drinking much more than I'd usually do; I'm washing obsessively - douching and showering after every dilation, cleansing and drying after every toilet visit, and changing maxi-pads regularly. I'm trying as hard as I can to heal. I'm just worried that I won't - not while I'm having to open everything up three times every day. I can't help but feel that Prometheus had it easier - once daily visits, with some interesting fauna to make the experience more interesting....


It hurts, but I can deal with that, as long as it's all going to turn out well in the end.
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September 2009

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