[personal profile] sallyalice
Oops - I haven't made very good with my promise to be more Internet-active on arriving home. Sorry.

I've been spectacularly sleepy. The journey home on Sunday meant exerting myself more than I can maintain at present, and every little activity tires me out more than it ought to. As I'm now able to get comfortable enough to go to sleep, my body has opted to remind me of how exhausted I am in the hope that I'll take the hint and get some rest. I seem to have spent most of my time dozing.

Most of my waking time is tied to the endless cycle of dilation. Dilation dictates my mealtimes, bathing times and toilet visits. First, I eat a meal to enable me to take my Sodium diclofenac, which I'm using alongside Paracetamol to take away the pain. An hour passes, during which time I prepare myself with all the apparatus I need for dilation, and try to clear my bowels to reduce the pressure in that general area. When an hour is up, I'm at my most pain-tolerant, so I dilate. Before and after dilation, I inspect myself for signs of infection or major bleeding. Then, I douche to clear my vagina of Bindel, and shower thoroughly. When all of this is over, I'm usually so exhausted that I collapse back into bed.

I had a shock after my dilation on Sunday evening.  It had taken longer than usual to insert the dilator comfortably - It hadn't helped that 'I'd had a coughing fit just as I started, which had left the dilator partway in at a painful angle. When I removed it, there was a lot more blood than usual. Some of it was coming from the ventralmost edge of my vagina, where I'd pushed unexpectedly while coughing. But most of the blood was seeping from a gaping open suture line between my vagina and my anus. The suture had opened earlier - I'd seen it before starting dilating - but the pressure on the surrounding tissue must have aggravated the bleeding from that area. Lots. I got up and looked down at the towels I'd put down to catch any blood. A huge Rorschachian figure like the Angel of Death was spread over the uppermost towel. And the blood had leached through both towels, my duvet and its cover, my bedsheets, and into the mattress. It wasn't very pleasant - especially after my blood-loss had seemed to be reducing, and on the first occasion when I didn't have a nurse to reassure me that it was OK.

In the end, it was mercuryneedle and one of her nursing student friends who kept me calm. I wasn't feeling cold or experiencing any sensory slowdown, so the blood-loss wasn't as extreme as it had seemed to me. Suture lines have a habit of opening up - as long as I keep it clean, drink lots, and get adequate sleep, it ought to heal naturally. I was very sore, but with the use of incense and suchlike, mercuryneedle managed to put me to sleep. And in the morning, the wound didn't seem nearly as bad.
So, yes, I'm taking things easy at the moment. I hope to be in a better position to see people soon, though :)



September 2009


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